The leges doth protest too much, methinks (Posted 04/29/05)

The leges are all hot and bothered because someone sent them a flier that indicates that there might be some political repercussions if the leges vote for tax on patients in private hospitals. See story here.

It seems that the leges are doing exactly that about which they whine. The only difference that is their threats are not anonymous. Personally, I would have not made the threat anonymously. Anonymous statements have little credibility.

If the leges threats are “protected speech” then its seems that the person who sent the flier is likewise protected. If the lobbyists sued the leges every time they threatened by a lege, we’d have to add more judges to the 19th JDC.

The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution says:

“Congress shall make no law …abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

It appears that the writer of flyer is well within their First Amendment rights. Removing public officials from office is a legal means of redressing grievances.

To paraphrase Shakespeare’s Hamlet: The leges doth protest too much, methinks.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

John Hainkel was right (Posted 04/28/05)

Some years ago, the late Senator John Hainkel was making one of his famous impassioned speeches on the Senate Floor about gambling taking over our state. Hainkel said, and I’m paraphrasing due to an aging memory, something to this effect:

Why don’t we just install slot machines at the airport (N.O.’s Louis Armstrong). That way when the tourist arrive, we can just take all their money right there, give them a Hurricane (the drink), some Mardi Gras beads and put them back on a return flight back to their homes.

We all laughed. Well, today we learn that Senator Hainkel was an even better clairvoyant than orator and story-teller.

We find that Louis Armstrong Airport is planning exactly what Senator Hainkel predicted years ago. The airport has submitted House Billl 799 by Rep. Cedric Richmond, D-New Orleans, to allow a casino within the airport.

Now we have more gambling expansion being sought by a public agency in LA.

Sorry that I laughed Senator Hainkel, but you can imagine that I thought it was a joke at the time.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

More confusion over the session (Posted 04/27/05)

As I read the media accounts of what can and cannot be heard during the “limited session” of the legislature, I am yet to see anyone fully inform the public. At great risk of setting House Clerk Butch Speer off on another tantrum, I must point out a common error.

An unlimited number of “local and special bills” not merely “local bills” could have been prefiled. LOCAL AND SPECIAL BILLS ARE NOT THE SAME. See the definition here from the Legislative Website:

Local and special laws

A law affecting only one or more particular local areas, such as one or more particular parishes or municipalities (local law). A law that, because of its restrictions, can operate upon or affect only a portion of citizens or a fraction of property embraced within a classification (special law). (Const. Art. III, §§12 and 13) (Also see Official Journal)

Best of luck to all you folks who have your life, liberty and property at stake.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

LA House Clerk Butch Speer responds (Posted 04/26/05)

Below is LA House Clerk Butch Speer’s response and a clue as to how he will rule on the matter of how many leges it takes to pass a law. (See Monday Commentary: “LA’s own Humpty Dumpty”). Once he rules it will be the law of the land until someone takes the matter to court.

Silly me, I didn’t know that the “Miriam-Webster (sic) Dictionary” was where we learn the intent of the delegates to CC73. There are recordings and transcriptions of the debates. I must take more Continuing Legal Education courses to learn about these things.

As Paul H. said in response to my earlier missive: “As stated elsewhere in Alice’s trek, life in Louisiana ‘gets curiouser and curiouser!!!!’”

Thanks Butch, but damn, you take all the mystery out of life. How many leges does it takes to screw, make that, screw in a light bulb?

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

From: “Speer, Alfred”

To: “C.B. Forgotston”

Oh ALL KNOWING AND IMMINENTLY WISE SCRIBE, art thou truly the personification of the Humpty character herein? Pray point to me the page in ANY dictionary whereon the definition of the word “elected” equates to that of the word “established.”

But of course, as Humpty Dumpty was able, you may pronounce the truth of a meaning without reference to authority, for thee art the ALL KNOWING AND IMMINENTLY WISE SCRIBE!

Perhaps, C. B. you are correct in your assessment of the intention of the delegates in the 1973 convention, BUT perhaps you are mistaken and merely WISH your interpretation were correct.

Once again you have accused BEFORE any act has been taken, any act other than deliberate thought and thorough research. If the decision is made to interpret the term “elected” to actually mean “to be selected by vote for an office” {Miriam-Webster [sic] Dictionary} versus to mean “established seats within the body,” then perhaps you can be the financier who takes the evil leges to task in our courts and verily the learned judges will bow down to your ALL KNOWING AND IMMINENTLY WISE SCRIBE self and put those conniving, manipulative leges in their proper place.

Alfred W. Speer

Clerk of the House

225-342-7259

speera@legis.state.la.us

LA’s own Humpty Dumpty (Posted 04/25/05)

EXCERPT FROM “THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS” BY LEWIS CARROLL (1871):

SCENE: Humpty Dumpty is speaking with Alice at her birthday party: “And only one for birthday presents, you know. There’s ‘glory’ for you!”

“I don’t know what you mean by ‘glory’.” Alice said.

Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. “Of course you don’t — till I tell you. I meant there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!”

“But ‘glory’ does not mean a nice knock-down argument,” Alice objected.

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”

“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master — that’s all.”

Alice was too much puzzled to say anything; so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. “They’ve a temper, some of them — particularly verbs; they’re the proudest — adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs — however, I can manage the whole lot of them! Impenetrability! That’s what I say!”

“Would you tell me please,” said Alice, “what that means?”

“Now you talk like a reasonable child,” said Humpty Dumpty, looking very much pleased. “I meant by ‘impenetrability’ that we’ve had enough of that subject, and it would be just as well if you’d mention what you mean to do next, as I suppose you don’t mean to stop here all the rest of your life.”

“That’s a great deal to make one word mean,” Alice said in a thoughtful tone.

“When I make a word do a lot of work like that,” said Humpty Dumpty, “I always pay it extra.”

“Oh!” said Alice. She was too much puzzled to make any other remark.

Sometimes, I think Humpty Dumpty is in charge of the lege. Whenever the leges find some provision in our state’s constitution an impediment to them doing what they want, like Humpty Dumpty they simply change the meaning of words. On the eve of the opening of the Regular “Limited” Session we find this in Sunday’s Times Picayune:

How many senators does it take to . . .

The math on Senate votes during the upcoming session is being complicated by the absence of two New Orleans lawmakers: Sen. John Hainkel, who died April 15, and Sen. Lambert Boissiere Jr., who resigned to take another office. A simple majority vote of the “elected members” is required to pass most nontax measures, and a two-thirds majority is needed to pass tax increases or constitutional amendments. Do deceased or resigned lawmakers qualify as elected members? Senate staffers have been poring over that question, and as of Friday they said they were not sure. Lawmakers are expected to introduce a resolution Monday to clarify who’s counted and who’s not. With 39 seats in the Senate, 20 votes make a simple majority and 26 votes add up to two-thirds. Do the math and it’s clear that even with only 38 total members, 20 votes are needed for a simple majority and 26 for a two-thirds majority. Drop down to 37 members, and the simple majority threshold is 19 votes and the two-thirds threshold is 25 votes. Elections are on the way to fill the seats, but the vacancies can’t be filled until late in the session, which ends June 23. The primary for Boissiere’s 3rd District seat is May 21 with an expected runoff June 18. Hainkel’s 6th District seat has a June 4 primary and a July 9 runoff.

Clearly what was intended by the delegates to CC73 was to establish a formula by which to pass laws based of the total number of seats established for the House and Senate. It was done for a couple of reasons. First, it allows for changing the number of seats without having to change this provision. Second, it was simpler than setting forth a special number for each type vote, i.e., majority, two-thirds and three-quarters, which also would have to be amended if a change was ever made in the number of seats.

If the leges agree to circumvent this provision by merely redefining the obvious meaning of the words, then all laws (and taxes) passed by less than 20 (26) votes in Senate and 53 (70) votes in the House should be challenged in the courts. Of course, since LA lacks a public interest litigation group, that will not happen.

Perhaps we should just repeal the entire state constitution. It seems that our leges view it as nothing more than a “speed bump” in the governmental process.

One can only wonder if, like Humpty Dumpty, the leges pay the words more for such work.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

P.S. For further commentary on opening day of the session see the Piney Woods Oracle.

Bob’s boondoggle delayed!!! (Posted 04/22/05)

It is said that “a hanging delayed is still a victory.” Yesterday, the taxpayers were once against spared from an $85 Million gallows through the efforts of Governor Kathleen Blanco and State Treasurer John Kennedy.

Once again, Bob Odom’s $85 Million syrup mill in Bunkie was delayed by the State Bond Commission. Unfortunately, politics being what they are in LA, the project is not yet dead. A decision by the Bond Commission was put off until further study of the project can be done by the Division of Administration.

The discussion at the Bond Commission meeting must have been what it was like in the days when the politicians were still trying to save the buggy whip factories.

It is not the purpose of government in a Capitalist Society to underwrite the financial risks of private enterprise. As a matter of public policy, at a minimum the state of LA (we taxpayers) should not underwrite risk on projects in which the primary beneficiaries are unwilling to shoulder the lion’s share of the cost of the project.

The latest boondoggle to rise from the ashes of Big Daddy’s 8-year reign is costing us upwards of a million dollars a year to pay for golf rounds not paid. It’s time such boondoggles stop.

Kudos to Governor Blanco and Treasurer Kennedy for delaying this latest such boondoggle. We simply cannot afford another 4 years of wasteful spending and poor deals that we saw in the last 8 years.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

Anonymous “experts” disagree (Posted 04/21/05)

According to a press release by Bob Odom some unnamed “experts” disagree with study that is an impediment to him getting his way . The study being questioned, concluded that that Bob’s proposed boondoggle, ahem, Bunkie Syrup Mill will be a financial flop under even the rosiest of scenarios.

Bob’s reaction was something to the effect that who cares what happens in 10 years. Well, those of us who will be stuck paying the bills for the flop care. Of course, by that time, Bob will be drawing a nice pension courtesy of the taxpayers of LA and living in Florida, where he can escape the ravages of the Stelly Tax.

But I digress.

Why should anyone believe anything that some anonymous “experts” say. The only name mentioned in the release is Bob’s. Just words on paper.

I suspect that we all know who are the “experts”. Probably the State Vet/concrete finisher and the pest control expert/backhoe operator.

What we need in LA is a licensing law for “experts.”

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

Taxpayers charged for green fees! (Posted 04/20/05)

The taxpayers of LA are going to fork over almost a MILLION DOLLARS in green fees for 7,800 rounds of golf at the Tournament Players Club course that WERE NOT PLAYED.

Yes, you read that correctly. Big Daddy and F Troop entered into a guarantee with a golf course to pick up the slack if even golfers didn’t play. See story here.

It’s too bad that some poor indigent golfers in LA weren’t offered a chance to use the course.

Now, we non-golfing taxpayers are being asked to suffer another round of tax increases to pay off another boondoggle of Big Daddy’s Spend and Tax Reign.

Folks, you just can’t make up such stuff. It’s not funny; it’s insanity!

This too is a part of Big Daddy’s legacy.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

The “magic bullet” for education in LA (Posted 04/19/05)

Here’s, apparently, why the leges want to raise our taxes. House Bill 678 by Rep. Rick Gallot, D-Ruston gives our very needy (Governor makes $95,000 and other statewides $85,000 per year.)statewide elected officials an auto-magic 4% pay raise annually.

Here’s an amendment I’d like to see:

Add the leges and the State Superintendent of Education tying a raise to the increased ranking of public education. A one percent increase in pay for every notch LA education moves up in the national rankings. If the state drops, then a one percent reduction for every notch LA moves down (Not much danger here since we currently are 49th.).

If you really want to see education get better in LA, this is the “magic (actually, auto-magic) bullet” for which you have been searching.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

P.S. A 4% raise for the statewides is $3,400. The raise proposed for the teachers is $1,000. So where are our leges’ priorities? Clearly they are on the politicians.

Reality vs. Spin (Posted 04/15/05)

Emily Metzgar’s column in yesterday’s Shreveport paper is an excellent analysis of a recent LSU study. It is a serious look at the actual data as opposed to the “spin” put on otherwise dismal information by those at LSU who made the study. We continue to compare ourselves to ourselves as opposed to those who live in America.

LSU’s “spin” is like calling “progress” the fact that the LA Department of Revenue has narrowed it errors in revenue collections to a $170 Million “swing” (either they collected $85 Million more or collected $85 Million less).

It is unfortunate that those at LSU feel it necessary (either because of political pressure or to suck up to the politicians) to spin such information. We can never fix the problems as long as the public remains complacent.

Kudos to Emily!!

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

P.S. Speaking of tax collections, the Piney Woods Oracle has some thoughts on this “tax day.”

Headlines say it all…. (Posted 04/14/05)

Earlier this month on the front page of the Times Picayune’s Money Section, were two stories one immediately under the other.

The first story dealt with the national economy: “Economy humming as jobs grow”

The second story was about the Louisiana economy: “Firm rejects move to [New Orleans] area” Sub-heading: “Big laundry opts for cheaper Miss.”

The point is that the rest of America is coming out of an economic slump. Unfortunately, LA is not and nothing is on the horizon to expect that to change.

Forbes Magazine in 1996 wrote, “There is no mystery. Business creates jobs and business goes where, other things being equal, costs are low. Taxes are not the only factors in costs, but they are one of the most variable factors. The only mystery is why is this a mystery.”

The above statement is merely common sense. Something that seems to be in short supply amongst politicians in LA. Our leges plans for the upcoming session are to extract, via higher taxes and fees, more money from the private sector to fund a bloated state government.

Until we lower business taxes, reduce bureaucratic red tape and eliminate political corruption, we can expect more and more headlines like story two.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

UNBELIEVEABLE!!!! (Posted 04/13/05)

This is unbelievable even for LA. The state either has $85 Million more than it thought or $85 Million less. That’s a swing of $170 Million. Only in LA they are call such gross incompetence “progress”. (See story here.)

These are the people who will be collecting (or perhaps we should say attempting to collect) more taxes if the Administration and the leges have their way. We may already have enough money for a teacher pay raise, but nobody knows.

These folks at the LA Department of Revenue make the Orleans Parish School System look like a well-oiled machine.

Collect and account for the all the existing taxes before asking me for more money!

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

Rep. Daniel seeking atonement? (Posted 04/12/05)

Below is an excerpt from Monday’s Baton Rouge Business Report’s Daily Report. Perhaps Rep. Daniel is trying to atone for his increasing the cost of our gasoline when he passed HB 1533 of the 2003 Regular Session which tripled the per gallon inspection tax imposed by Ag. Commish Bob Odom.

It was really an illegal tax increase disguised as a fee. Of course, Rep. Daniel disagreed with me at the time. Nevertheless, it is what it is and now you and I pay it and pay for it and pay for it.

Welcome back to reality William.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

Bill to remove Odom’s pump police power

A local lawmaker has filed a bill for the upcoming legislative session to strip Agriculture Commissioner Bob Odom of the tools he would need to punish stations that price gasoline below a certain level. House Bill 183 by Rep. William Daniel, D-Baton Rouge, would essentially repeal a 6% mandatory markup on prices that many gas retailers must implement. Odom is pushing a proposed set of rules that would allow his inspectors to shut down gas stations that permit their pump prices to drop too low. A legislative panel rejected the rules last week and the governor upheld their decision, but Odom insists he doesn’t need their approval anyway and is now awaiting an opinion from the Attorney General’s Office.

While the Legislature [Courtesy of Rep. Daniel and HB 1533] gave Odom sweeping power to enforce, regulate and investigate such cases two years ago, he is largely basing his authority on the 1940 Unfair Sales Law, which requires most retail items to be increased by 6%, with a few exceptions — certain clearance sales, manufacturers, nonprofits and state government are able to avoid the markup.

With prices in Louisiana already hovering around $2 per gallon, the issue is expected to be explosive — as most policy issues involving gas routinely are. “This will be a war like none other,” says one political veteran close to the debate. The legislation has been assigned to the House Commerce Committee. (Jeremy J. Alford)

Teacher pay debate lacking information (Posted 04/11/05)

The public school teachers (or their union representatives) are not happy with Governor Blanco’s proposed $1,000 per year across-the-board, pay raise. They now want a $2k increase. Their argument for the higher pay is based on using national and southern average salaries to show the “inequities” in LA teachers’ pay. However, the LA public schools chronically rank last or next to the last in the U.S.

Before we debate the question of HOW MUCH to pay them, lets discuss WHY. Which begs the following questions:

1. Are taxes being increased simply to pay teachers more than teachers in other states or is the purpose to improve public education? The answers may be mutually-exclusive.

2. Where are the comparisons with the relative cost of living? For example, can a teacher in Baton Rouge live as well as they do in Baton Rouge on the salary of a teacher in New York City while living in New York City. It is disingenuous of the teachers unions use national and southern average salaries to urge higher pay without looking at the relative cost of living.

3. Is there a study or other evidence that shows a direct relationship between higher teacher salaries and higher educational achievement of their students? Anecdotal evidence in LA is to the contrary.

4. Is there a successful public school system in the U.S. that has a similar dearth of parental involvement that is found in LA schools systems such as the one in Orleans Parish?

5. If we want to improve education, where is the best place to invest money?

If we are going to debate higher taxes for teacher (and support worker) pay in the upcoming session, we need all the facts.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

P.S. For additional reading on teacher pay check the Piney Woods Oracle

Lack of interest may have cost LA jobs (Posted 04/08/05)

Here are some excerpts from a story in Thursday’s Alexandria Town Talk about the new Union Tank Car plant:

Union Tank Car officials first came to Louisiana [at the time Big Daddy was governor.] looking for a site, then went to Texas because that state appeared more interested.

When they first expressed an interest in coming to Louisiana, officials in the Department of Economic Development “never took us very seriously. I was in shock,” [Bob] Zwartz [Director of taxes for Union Tank Car Co.] said.

After Gov. Blanco took over and met with these folks, they changed their mind about locating in Texas and came to LA.

It makes one wonder how many other jobs were lost during the 8 years of Big Daddy’s reign due to not taking seriously potential and existing businesses. We’ll never know. That too is Big Daddy’s legacy.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

Live or boiled? (Posted 04/07/05)

A member of the Crack Mullet Research Team has uncovered an important and controversial piece of proposed legislation for the upcoming 2005 Regular Session. (Remember this is a “limited session” and each lege can only introduce 5 non-fiscal/non-local bills.)

Today, as one of his precious 5 bills, Representative Mickey Frith, D-Abbeville, introduced HB 127 which would enact the crime of “Theft of Crawfish”.

The reason for this important legislation? Stealing crawfish is currently punishable under “Theft of Livestock” (specifically enumerates that crawfish).

Of course, it is immaterial to our leges that theft of all types is already a crime per LA R.S. 14:67.

Expect serious opposition and a major grass-roots campaign to be mounted against the proposed bill from the powerful Crawfish Thieves Benevolent and Protective Association.

You simply can’t make this stuff up.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

Pigs sighted in night sky (Posted 04/06/05)

Yes, folks pigs are flying in Northeast LA. It is the only plausible explanation for the latest pronouncement by the Monroe and West Monroe/West Ouachita Chambers of Commerce.

The chambers are actually OPPOSING several local taxes on the April 23 ballot, including the politically-correct “tax renewals”. See the story here.

Think I’m joking here’s what was said: It was the first time in recent history that the Monroe chamber has opposed a local tax. “I can’t remember the last time,” Monroe Chamber Chairwoman Linda Holyfield said.

Previously, the Monroe Chamber has been the paid lobbyist to milk money from the state’s taxpayers for local governments in Ouachita Parish.

The chambers allege that higher taxes will hurt businesses. No source cited for the shocking finding.

WARNING: Those living in Ouachita Parish and surrounding areas should not go outside this week without helmets. Pig excrement dropped from 100 feet or more has been known to cause severe head trauma to unprotected heads.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

Say what!!! (Posted 04/05/05)

Found in a news story in Friday’s Baton Rouge newspaper:

“We are looking at cigarettes first because it generates more money and it will stop people from smoking,” said [Governor Kathleen] Blanco.

Translation: The money from taxing smoking which will result in people stopping smoking will be used to fund a teacher pay raise.

Thanks to a member of the Crack Mullet Research Team for discovering this new form of government financing.

Why not fund the Lege Slush Funds by taxing people who out-migrate. Perhaps it will stop the out-migration.

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

In LA Everyday is Fool the Taxpayers Day (Posted 04/04/05)

When it comes to government in LA, it seems that every day is “Fool the Taxpayers Day”. Below is not, unfortunately, an April’s Fool joke.

Once again, our leges are looking at ways of circumventing us the state constitution and a vote of us mullets in order to raid the state’s “Rainy Day Fund”. Story here.

How can they do that? Here’s how:

…Sherry Phillips-Hymel, the Senate’s chief budget analyst, told senators gathered at a two-day retreat Friday that the Legislature could change the definition of “total net receipts” in the law without a constitutional change.

Folks, it’s right out of “Through the Looking Glass” by Lewis Carroll. A couple of excerpts.

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”

“When I make a word do a lot of work like that,” said Humpty Dumpty, “I always pay it extra.”

This discussion by the senators reminds me of the immortal words of former State Representative John Travis: “I can’t believe that we’re going to let a majority of the people decide what is best for this state. That’s not right.”

Not to worry, John. They aren’t!

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

“Fiscal-only” session a misnomer (Posted 04/01/05)

Recently, “Watchcat” Jeremy Alford wrote a story (yesterday’s commentary) about legislation that may be submitted in what most think is a “fiscal-only” session of the Lege which starts on April 25. You may recall that is the issue about which I wrote that, for some unknown reason, caused House Clerk Butch Speer to pitch a fit.

Many in the public, as well as the media, seem still to think that the session is “fiscal-only” in nature. A better term would be a “limited session”. In other words, as opposed to a “general session” where anything, but taxes can be considered. Leges may introduce up 720 measures that are non-fiscal in nature as well as an unlimited number of “local” bills. Hardly a “fiscal-only” session.

But I digress.

As an example of “important” non-fiscal legislation that has already been introduced is HB 39, by Rep. Jack Smith, D-Patterson. His bill would loosen the rules on one getting a video poker license.

Apparently, this is such a burning issue with his constituents that Smith used one of his 5 non-fiscal measures to address it.

Soon we will begin hearing stories about matters that really are of great importance which cannot be addressed because the leges have used up their allotment of non-fiscal and local bills.

Pleased don’t be lulled into a false sense of security by the media and others referring to the session as “fiscal only.”

Mark Twain’s admonition remains true: “No man’s life, liberty or property are safe while the Legislature is in session.”

C.B.

Mullet Scribe

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